Because if it Weren’t New York, How Would We Relate to the Young People?

The Smurfs.  In New York City.  Which is pretty much bullsmurf, but I suppose I can deal with it.  It’s not like I planned on seeing this anyway, it’s just that I don’t get why you would need to bother taking them out of the woods.  Is it because they’re so desperate to distance comparisons being made with James Cameron’s Avatar?  Or is it just because living in the woods severely reduces the Smurfs’ chance of being introduced to hip-hop and having Papa Smurf bust mad rhymes?  I’ll be surprised if they don’t ‘Sex and the City’ out Smurfette for the movie.  Come on, you know they’ll do something that doesn’t fit at all with the Smurfs just to make it seem hip and current with today’s trends.  But comes on.  They’re little blue people.  If anything screams 2010 it’s that.

So the creepy little runts will be scrounging around New York.  Is it just me, or wouldn’t it seem likely that when you take a small colony of little talking blue critters and let them loose in a major city like that, there would eventually be some casualties?  In a real-world scenario not all of these Smurfs are making it home to tell the tale.  I’ll bet one of them would intentionally push Brainy Smurf in front of a cab and write it off as an accident while being lost and confused in a new world.  Where exactly are the Smurfs from, anyway?  I know “in the woods” but whereabouts?  And another thing, do the other Smurfs shave, just to refrain from infuriating Papa Smurf, or is he the only one that can grow a beard?  And what’s the deal with Hank Azaria as Gargamel?

He looks… actually he looks pretty good.  But I don’t know how the crazed loner who wears a cloak and wants to eat what could very well be an endangered species will hold up in New York City.  I could easily see him getting mugged.  You’d better be using some spells Gargamel, lest you get roughed up.  All I know is, don’t be surprised when the Blue Man Group shows up in this movie.  I’m calling it now.  They’ll at least make a reference.  I can’t imagine them not.

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