Vengeance Returns? Not Unless It Was on My Brain
Underworld Awakening is terrible.
Normally I just do a quick synopsis of a movie and then say what I liked and didn’t like about it without spoiling anything. Not with this, I’m going to tell you everything about the story.
First, I’d like to start off by saying that if I didn’t have passes to the theater I went to I would have had to pay $27 for two people. Instead I had to pay the $7 for 3D, and that was still too much.
Now let’s get to the “story”.
Suddenly humans find out that vampires and werewolves (lycan) exist and are then determined to get rid of these plagues by purging the world of both creatures.
While attempting to escape the city, vampire Seline and her vampire/lycan hybrid lover Michael are attacked by the humans and according to the title credits, frozen.
The next scene we see Seline fuzzily seeing someone scurrying around a room, and then her being defrosted in a cryo chamber she’s hanging upside down inside. She escapes the chamber, finds her goth clothes conveniently stored in a case in the same room she was being kept in, then proceeds to escape the facility.
She thinks she’s on Michael’s trail and continues to look for him, while being able to see things through his eyes. Or so she thinks. She finds a crime scene where someone had their throat torn open, and I guess we’re supposed to think Michael did it, even though they show you that when he transforms he doesn’t really turn into a lycan. Then we have a cop who is reluctant to call in this attack because there hasn’t been a reported werewolf attack in years. It seems like not only does he not want the public to know, he doesn’t want anyone to know. Is this guy a werewolf?
It turns out it was never Michael Seline was following, but an unknown-to-her little girl. I think we all know who the girl is, if you didn’t say “daughter” you should get yourself checked out.
The girl, Eve, who we end up finding out is Seline’s daughter is supposed to be this all powerful vampire/lycan hybrid that can destroy people at will. Seeing as how her mother is full vampire and her father was half vampire/ half lycan, isn’t she more of just a vampire with a little bit of lycan in her?
Seline, Eve, and some random and very well groomed vampire that shows up to help Seline for no reason, go to said random vampire’s coven to hide. Turns out their hiding skills are terrible because they get attacked, and apparently slaughtered by Lycans. This scene is basically there to show off the silver-resistant MEGA-lycan that knocks Seline out under a pile of rubble.
She wakes up and, Oh shit, what?! THEY TOOK THE GIRL?!
Seline is pissed and enlists the help of that cop from before that kind of seems like a werewolf. They have a conversation about how the lycan aren’t a dying breed, they’re actually pretty strong. Then the cop divulges that they were told by higher-ups to stop hunting lycan and they were no longer a threat. To focus on vampires. The two of them then realize that the people at the research facility where Seline was being held are actually all werewolves.
The werewolf doctors want Seline’s daughter because apparently she’s immune to silver, and they want to use her to make a vaccine for lycans to make them all immune to silver.
But they haven’t done it yet, so Seline is going to go murder them all using silver!
Fast forward through another action scene that shows us a bunch of lycans getting killed, Michael being frozen in one of the tanks, the random vampire/underwear model from before showing up to help, the MEGA-lycan getting blown up from the inside with a silver grenade, AND Seline’s daughter ripping a guys neck out. When the fight is over everyone that’s at least part vampire goes back in to find Michael, but he’s gone. The daughter then sees through his eyes and says he’s on the roof. They go to the roof to find him, but he’s gone.
Seline says something about how it’s not over or something, and that’s it, movie over.
- Before I get into everything I didn’t like about this I will say that 3D was used pretty well.
- First we have to talk about the daughter. Can vampires even give birth to kids? Aren’t they technically dead? If I wanted to be an asshole I could also point out that a horse and donkey can make a hybrid of themselves, but then that hybrid is sterile. But, we’re obviously not working within the real world here. So, let’s imagine that vampires can have kids, and this vampire/lycan hybrid isn’t sterile. How did Seline birth this daughter? If she doesn’t know, it probably wasn’t the “natural” way. When she first came out of the cryo chamber she was naked. If they cut this kid out of her wouldn’t she have a scar? Or was that something they hoped we didn’t notice so we could think she was really following Michael?
- We later find out that all of the security guards at Antigen (the facility where Seline and Eve were held) are werewolves. How come none of them, you know, TURNED INTO A WEREWOLF when Seline was escaping? Come to think of it, how the hell did Eve even get out? Do they really think we won’t think about things they don’t show us?
- In the scene where the police are talking about the lycan attacked corpse: if Lycans are so uncontrollable, and there’s a facility that is full of them, how has there only been one attack in two years?
- After Seline and underwear model vampire guy find Eve, Eve gets attacked by a lycan in the van they use to escape. She then flips out and rips its head in half. The next time she tries to fight a lycan she jumps on its back and slaps at it. Maybe they were trying to give the scene at the end when she fights werewolf doctor more tension, but we know what she’s capable of, so when she rips his throat out it’s not surprising.
- By the way, when they find Seline’s daughter in the sewer there are two lycan near them, and Calvin Klein vampire says they’ll be back in numbers, then they’re chased by three or four of them.
- After the coven is attacked and Eve is taken, “damn I’m pretty” vampire dies, and Seline does some weird ‘Neo in the Matrix’ heart squeeze move to bring him back to life. 1.) What the hell was that move? Was that in any other movie? And 2.) Why were the vampires dying from getting bitten by the lycans? Wouldn’t they need to be staked through the heart or decapitated? Seline gets shot in the forehead earlier in the movie and she was fine.
- If vampires are goth and you are somewhere full of lycans and hate vampires, are you going to let the women in the leather trench coat just walk up?
- The werewolves want Michael and Seline’s daughter to make a serum that makes them resistant to silver. Is Michael not resistant to silver? Wouldn’t he be a better person to make it from if so?
- The last sequence is kind of nuts, and whatever, ill let that slide.
- Earlier in the movie Seline’s daughter says she could see through Seline’s frozen eyes while she was being held captive, but that she couldn’t see through Michael’s eyes. But at the end she suddenly does for the first time ever?
- Seline found Michael, couldn’t she have just taken a minute to free him? He could have helped her.
The movie has an ending that is so incredibly unsatisfying it serves as a cherry on a disappointment sundae. I guess they’re going to be making an Underworld 5. Maybe it’ll be in 4D and we’ll get to experience how much better the vampires smell in comparison to the lycans. A friend of mine who was a previous fan of the series saw this and still hated it, so save yourself the headache and see something else, because no one should like this movie.