Ah, Clash of the Titans, the one movie I was really looking to deliver a swift kick in the ass to start the summer movie-going experience. On paper, this film has everything going for it. The star of Avatar, Sam Worthington, in the lead role with Liam Neeson as Zeus, Fiennes as Hades, an awesome design for the Kraken and the French wonder boy, Louis Leterrier, directing his first movie since his success with the Incredible Hulk. Everything screamed bad ass about the reboot of the 1981 B-movie classic but even the mighty can fall.
Somewhere along the line in the production of this movie, somebody should have stopped and read the script. I can tell you with absolute certainty that from watching Clash of the Titans, no one actually read the whole thing because if they did, it would not have played out this way. Once again Hollywood has managed to take a somewhat classic and turn it into a modern piece of mediocre. There is almost no redeemable value in the new Clash of the Titans other than some amazing production designs. Seriously, everyone needs to look at the work Martin Laing did on this picture as he captured the feeling of the original and combined it with the raw reality that ancient Greek mythology is known for. Sorry folks, if you are looking for either thrills, kills, chills or any other rhyming feeling delivered from great movies then look some place else.
The new Clash of the Titans once again follows the adventures of the demi-god Perseus (Worthington) who is the son of Zeus (though Zeus does not realize it until later…weird?) and the adopted son of a lowly fisherman. As Perseus grows older under the supervision of his adopted father he begins to dislike the gods for their arrogant and power hungry ways. It also seems that everyone in ancient Greece during this time is drinking the same kool-aid as these thoughts grow within the realm of man. Zeus and the gods of Olympus become angry with the human’s blasphemy and they unleash Hades upon the earth to do some smiting. By sheer chance, Perseus’ entire family is killed by Hades during his smite-fest and that makes Perseus very, very, very angry. So he joins up with soldiers from Argos and begins his quest to kill Hades to avenge his family and make everything feel much better.
YAY:
- I cannot stress enough how beautiful and just awesome the production designs are in the film. I would honestly say that if you did not know better, you would think the sets were from a film that is as robust as the Lord of the Rings’ designs. It’s just too bad that they are wasted (and supposedly completely muddled in 3D, this review is 2D only).
- You’ve seen the Kraken from the trailers and the art direction for the monster is spot on. Its just a shame that it is on screen for a total time of about 3 minutes.
- In the bowels of the film there is a twinkle of brilliance that would have made the film monumentally better if it were delivered properly. The character of Perseus is portrayed in the movie as a demi-god who longs to be an ordinary man and live his life accordingly. If the writers had more than a one-track brain, they would have fleshed out this yearning on screen, which would have been truly refreshing means to connect with an audience.
NAY:
- The story here just does not make sense at all and even goes out of its way to prevent the audience from becoming confused about what is going on, but that only leads to more bewilderment. An example of this is that the opening of the film declares that the Kraken was the weapon that the gods utilized to slay all of the titans and begin their reign on Olympus. However, later in the film Medusa is said to be a titan herself even though her monstrous qualities were bound to her a la a curse administered by Athena. How can she be a titan when they are all dead? Also, one character in particular gets so screwed at the conclusion of the movie that it is an insult to the audience’s intelligence and the actress who suffers throughout the film selling motivations only to be essentially doomed at the end.
- The soldiers of Argos were remotely entertaining but I can honestly say that I was watching the film pretty intently while taking notes and I could not remember any of their names. That tells you something considering they are in the majority of the film.
- Clash of the Titans must have been a walk in the park for Sam Worthington because he almost doesn’t act or sell his character at all. Whenever the movie calls for Perseus to become enraged, he screams and when he is supposed to be sad, he gives the same damn scream. Actually, I do not think there were more than a handful of actions committed by Perseus where Worthington doesn’t cheese you out of your seat with his screech of demi-god anger.
- Fight scenes, oh dear lord, the fight scenes! What is practically the selling point for the film in its previews is the lamest aspect of the production. Leterrier tries to bring his fast paced editing into play but all it does is confuse what is going on, and by the time you begin to enjoy the confrontations, they conclude very, very, very, abruptly. Some of the fights are just downright laughable as each combatant is slashing wildly at each other until Perseus realizes (keep in mind he never learned to fight as a fisherman but the “god” in him is pretty much Kratos from the God of War series) that he can pull off everything from triple flips to unbelievable swordsmanship.
The suits at Warner Bros. did not make a bad decision by remaking Clash of the Titans. I would even go so far as to say that the overall tale of revenge in place of the fantastical love story from the original was perfectly fine as well, but the fact that the creative power behind this re-imagining was so bad, it hurts a lot. To make matters worse, not only is this movie barely watchable from a 2D standpoint, the late 3D conversion that this movie underwent has left many audiences saying it is simply unbearable. 2010′s Clash of the Titans just proves that not only does Hollywood continue to lack real creative talent but that the current 3D craze is basically leading the motion picture business completely astray in every way possible.
