Kato…and That Other Guy
In The Green Hornet Seth Rogen plays Britt Reid, a privileged asshole with nothing better to do than party every night and embarrass his father. After his father dies Britt is reluctant to do anything, including running his father’s newspaper. That is, until he meets Kato, by way of a bad cup of coffee. See, not only was Kato Britt’s father’s mechanic, he also made the coffee. It makes sense in context, I guess. After realizing Kato can do whatever he wants him to, Britt decides to fight crime, posing as a criminal, as The Green Hornet. Is it worth the money or does this adaptation just stin(g)k?
- The Black Beauty is amazing. If there was a single reason to see this movie this is it. There’s guns everywhere. There’s missiles everywhere. It functions while in half. It’s completely bulletproof. It’s one of the coolest cars in movie history.
- That last one leads into the builder of the Black Beauty, Kato. Kato is the best character in this movie. He built all the cool stuff, except for one thing, and when he fights, in Kato vision, it’s a joy to watch. He also has a drawing of Bruce Lee in his sketchbook, which was a nice touch.
- Christoph Waltz is really the only other cool character in the entire movie. He has a double gun, the only cool thing Kato didn’t build, and a complex about whether people fear him as he feels they should.
- Seth Rogen as Britt Reid is an ASSHOLE. He sucks before his father died, and he sucks after his father died. The best thing he does is convince Kato to build all the cool Green Hornet stuff. Even after all of that and after Kato saving his life multiple times he STILL treats Kato like shit and tries to take all the credit. I’ve never seen the original show, but I feel like Bruce Lee wouldn’t stand for that.
- Why the hell was Cameron Diaz the female “lead” in this movie? If you’re going to cast a woman as the hot secretary, don’t cast a woman pushing 40 who hasn’t been considered “hot” since The Mask. The only good part about her being in the movie is the actual joke about her age.
- This is a small gripe, but during Comic Con or something similar, Seth Rogen said he felt like they had one of the great chase scenes in movie history in The Green Hornet, and stupidly I believed him. Not only was that wrong, but I doubt it will end up being one of the best chase scenes of the year.
The Green Hornet isn’t a terrible movie, but it’s not really a good one either. I think the critic consensus of “meh” is pretty spot on. The action sequences are fun to watch, but there’s a very good chance you’ll end up hating the character of Britt Reid at some point throughout the film and there’s not much that’s going to change your mind by the end. Hating the protagonist is never a good thing.