Never Not A Nerd

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Gamer is one of those movies that you approach with either extreme caution or extreme excitement. In my case, I was the latter. Seeing that this is a film by the Crank directors (Neveldine/Taylor), I was sure to be entertained by ultra-high sensory violence and tongue-in-cheek plot devices. Gamer surely delivers on these fronts but I am not quite sure that it comes off as confident as the Crank films. This is sort of dissappointing since the selling point of these types of films is the fact that they wink at the audience once in a while to remind them that the makers of the film know exactly how ridiculous it is.  Gamer trades in this self-reflexive quality for an attempt at what seems to be social commentary the likes of Rollerball or Thunderdome.

The plot to this movie is paper-thin. It is set in a not-too-distant future where video games are played by using mind-control devices instead of holding a controller. No longer does the world rely on pixel and polygons to improve the graphics of their virtual entertainment products as the players assume control over real people who volunteer and are payed to be the players’ avatars. Though this sounds complex, it is in fact explained in text before the film begins. We then enter the realms of two of the biggest video games: Slayers and Society. Slayers is basically a virtual shooter where gamers assume control of convicts on death row. Society on the other hand is Second Life, only you are represented by a real person. From here we follow Cable, a deathrow inmate who is on the verge of returning to his wife and child if he completes 3 more sessions of Slayers under the control of a gamer named Simon. Here on out the movie is one giant Scottish yelling explosion. Oh and the guy from Dexter is running around controlling people too.

YAY:

• Being the avid gamer/nerd that I am, there are a lot of cool moments that reflect preposterous aspects of modern day gaming. For example, in the opening sequence one of the slayer convicts is tea-bagging a freshly charred corpse. Though this would be disturbing in any other movie, it was a great tone to set in the opening of a film which hopes to connect to a hardcore gamer fanbase.
• Neveldine/Taylor actually do a good job of covering all of the important plot points to make this a coherent presentation. Even though it goes through some pretty distracting “lag-times”, you never seem to not know what is going on…yeah that IS an accomplishment in films nowadays.
• Explosions are awesome and they blow people up in this movie and no I didn’t run out of things to say about this film.

NAY:

• The acting here is 80% terrible. Everyone phones in their performances but you can not hold it against them. Do you think Jason Statham puts in 20 hours a day to prepare for his role as Chev Chelios? Not in a million years. Though the acting is terrible, Ludacris is the only person you can really tell that does not give a shit at all about what he is saying.
• The ending to this movie is one of the shittiest endings to any action movie ever. It is just laughable and not in a good way. I’d describe the ending to you but quite frankly, every single time you close a window on your computer by clicking the red X on the upper right hand corner is essentially the ending to this film. Not kidding. I wish I was.
• What is most dissappointing is that Gamer is not worse than Thunderdome or Rollerball but what makes it worse is the fact that it tries so hard to be in the same category that you simply can not allow a film with this much wrong with it to stand anywhere near such memorable films. If Neveldine/Taylor just took the time to make sure their sense of fun was evident to the audience then maybe this would be worth some sort of price of admission.

Even though I was literally counting the days until the Crank creators’ next movie was release, I must admit that this film is the equivalent to the giant iron balls that Devastator is now so famous for. Though this film seems to be a run ride, once you see it you are pretty horrified. Perhaps Gerard Butler should try to find some kind of period piece like 300 because this year has not been a good year at all no matter how many tire commercials he may see.

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