Not Nearly Furby Creepy

The idea of a talking stuffed bear is a bit of a creepy concept. It’s still not as creepy as a regular Furby toy. Have you ever seen one of those things? It looks like if you got it wet it’d turn into a gremlin. And if you don’t interact with it for a while it says “play with me”.
Anyway, Ted is a movie where a little boy named John wishes for his Teddy Bear to be able to talk so they can be best friends. His wish comes true, and the stuffed bear comes to life. After 27 years of being best friends John is now 35, works in a car rental office, and smokes pot with his Teddy bear regularly.
His girlfriend, Lori, has had enough of John’s lack of ambition, so she gives him the ultimatum: her or the bear. Is this a romantic comedy hidden under crude dialogue? Or a buddy comedy brought to life by crude dialogue, and a wish?


  • Ted is a solid concept. It’s definitely for people of my age group that grew up in the 80’s and owned a Teddy Ruxpin. Teddy Ruxpin only said what the tape you put in him had on it though.


  • Dear Facebook friends, this is not the funniest movie ever. Stop saying or acting like it is. It’s not even the impossibly high expectations that ruin Ted for anyone that isn’t a MacFarlane fanatic. It’s just simply not that funny. There are about four funny parts in the movie, and I’ll list them here: The scene where Ted interviews to work at the grocery store, where Ted does the impression of a Boston girl having an orgasm, John and his coworkers gay fight club conversation, and when Ted says all 90’s songs were sang the same way.
  • Too much Flash Gordon. It reminded me of Family Guy, I kept expecting some “like the time we… ” moments.
  • There were some of those moments. The Flash Gordon fantasy, and John’s take on how he and Lori met are examples.

Ted isn’t a bad movie. It’s just not something worthy of being excited about watching. Unless, of course, you think Family Guy is one of the best television shows of all time. Then, this is your brand of humor and you’ll probably love this movie.

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