No Thanks, I Only Drink Beer From Skulls

Drive Angry is a film that’s been on my radar for quite some time(wait, did I just accidentally make a pun?). I’ve never seen My Bloody Valentine, Patrick Lussier’s other 3D film, but Nicolas Cage is a force in new grindhouse cinema. Combining Nic Cage with fast cars, guns, and filming in 3D, it’d be a shame to miss this.

In the film Cage plays John Milton, a man who’s escaped from hell on a mission to rescue his granddaughter from a satanic cult that killed his only daughter and took his granddaughter as a child sacrifice. Along the way he meets, and commandeers the vehicle of, Piper, a small town waitress whose bite is as strong as her bark. Throughout his journey he is being tracked by who should be referred to as the bounty hunter of hell, a ‘man’ that goes by the name The Accountant (played by the excellent William Fichtner).

That’s it, this isn’t a film heavy on plot. Milton is on a mission to save his granddaughter, and this film showcases the journey that takes him on.


  • The action scenes are over-the-top excellence. Without giving too much about them away I can say it’s a lot of what’s in the trailer. Oh, and he makes a guy kill himself with a machete by shooting the front of it.
  • The Accountant is too cool for this to be the end of his character. The idea of an ‘employee’ of Satan tracking down escapees from hell is just too good for it not to turn into at least a comic book, maybe even a TV show. Fichtner is the majority of the reason he’s such a great character, he has an effortlessly cool aura to him. I think his past work in Prison Break and Invasion prove he’s not above starring in the TV show.
  • It was filmed in 3D, so it has good depth to it. It also goes the good fun route with it and throws plenty of stuff toward the screen.


  • The last we see of Amber Heard’s character, Piper, sullies the end a bit with some forced emotion. I’m willing to forgive this scene somewhat for what takes place after it.

Drive Angry doesn’t have much substance to it, but it’s definitely a fun 100 minutes. It’s definitely not a family film, but this is our generation’s version of grindhouse, it’s not supposed to be family friendly. It’s supposed to contain too many curse words, a decent amount of nudity, and probably at least one exploding body. Drive Angry delivers on all of those, and throws a 3D cherry on top.

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